


Roles

by ichikonohakko



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Ghoul, Fluff and Angst, Kaneki has four different personalities including himself, Kuroneki, M/M, Sasaki Haise - Freeform, Shironeki - Freeform, and Yamineki, my interpretation of the four sides of Kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9311414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichikonohakko/pseuds/ichikonohakko
Summary: “It’s different, Hide. I mean… asking me to be your boyfriend does not necessarily mean that you will deal withmeand onlyme.”In which Nagachika Hideyoshi has multiple roles to fulfill as Kaneki Ken's boyfriend.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Nagachika](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076296) by [ichikonohakko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichikonohakko/pseuds/ichikonohakko). 



> This is the kinda-angsty version of my other work where Hide has to deal with Kaneki's other personalities...

Hide knew what he was getting into when he asked his best friend for the last fifteen years to be his boyfriend.

He remembered the scenery so clearly, of how Kaneki had a small frown on his face, one hand clutching his lap and another one on the back of his neck. At least Hide knew that Kaneki wasn’t about to lie, he was just nervous (or anxious).

“I’m really happy,” he wasn’t stuttering, but his ears were read and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. “But, Hide, I’m not… exactly the best person to have a romantic relationship with…” he was looking at Hide’s shoulder instead of meeting his eyes. His voice got fainter by the words he said and Hide knew that he Kaneki was insecure.

“Why not?” Hide had asked. He made sure to not raise his voice in any way, to let Kaneki knew that he wasn’t offended or anything but he genuinely wanted answers. Curiosity might kill the cat but satisfaction always brought it back and these were the words Hide lived with and Kaneki knew him by heart, so there wasn’t a change of demeanor in him.

Kaneki was flustered, Hide knew, but he would wait until his best friend gave him an answer of some sort. Hide kept his eyes on Kaneki and Kaneki alone, curious.

“Well, I… I’m not the most stable person to be around with. You know this.” And Hide knew, of course. And Hide also knew how much Kaneki struggled with his conditions. Hide even helped him through some situations and Kaneki always seemed to think that he was being a major inconvenience in Hide’s life. _You don’t really need to be friends with someone like me_ , he had said, and Hide had been angered by that. He didn’t mind. He liked Kaneki for everything— _everyone_ that he is.

“Kaneki,” Hide said, his fingers idly playing with the teaspoon he still had in his cup of cappuccino. “I’m not the most stable person to be around with either? You told me this a million times.” Hide chuckled at the fond memories of Kaneki telling him just that. They balanced out each other, really, Kaneki was always too careful, too cautious, and Hide was always too curious, too daring. Hide couldn’t count how many times he was likely to lose his life in some idiotic way if it weren’t for Kaneki’s exasperated chiding.

Hide liked Kaneki very much and though it took him years, he finally figured out that he wanted to keep Kaneki by his side, always.

No matter what.

“It’s different, Hide. I mean…” Kaneki bit his lower lip, obviously trying hard to find the words that fit his situation. But Hide then put his hand atop of Kaneki’s own, a toothy grin on his face as he was prone to do when he wanted Kaneki to relax. But Kaneki was having none of it. Black met brown in a determined glare and Kaneki spoke. “Asking me to be your boyfriend does not necessarily mean that you will deal with _me_ and only _me_.”

“There will be the others, too. And I cannot remember what happens with the others, nor can I control what the others do. You helped me to accept my situation, but dating will be another matter entirely.” He sounded genuinely worried and Hide was happy. He was thought of this much. Kaneki really do care about him…

“I love you, Kaneki.” Hide said, his expression tender and adoring. It’s true. He loved Kaneki, no ands or ifs or buts, he just _do_. Kaneki blushed, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Hide. “Can we at least give it a try? I mean, if you love me too that is.”

“I do! But, Hide, I…” He casted his eyes downwards and bit his lower lip. “You deserve so much more than a freak like me…”

Even through the mumble, Hide heard him just fine, and he was angered by it. Kaneki was no freak and it genuinely hurt to know that his best friend think of himself that way. But Hide knew better than to throw a temper tantrum. Kaneki needed reassurance, not scolding, so Hide grasped the other’s free hand with his own and gave him a smile.

“You’re no freak, silly.” Hide’s voice was only barely above a whisper. “You’re… you. You’re Kaneki Ken. And I just happen to fall in love with you. Will you at least give us a chance?”

Kaneki was clearly torn and Hide allowed silence to engulf their table. The café was buzzing with background noises that seemed to be in tune with Hide’s nervous heartbeat and he enjoyed the feeling. One day he will look back at today with fond memories and he will forever savor this moment…

Kaneki’s eyes were the clearest black Hide had ever seen and he loved it, he loved how much Kaneki think of him, how much Kaneki _cared_ about how the world sees him, but Hide wanted Kaneki’s romantic affection so much and he wasn’t going to let the other leave without at least _try_. Because that was always the nature of their relationship: Kaneki was Hide’s reins and Hide was Kaneki’s propulsion. Kaneki put him in his place and Hide pushed Kaneki to take his place in the world.

Man, he was really really whipped, wasn’t he?

Kaneki sighed and put his other hand on his temple, rubbing it as if Hide had given him major headache. Hide grinned. This gesture always means—

“Fine. Let’s give it a try.”

“Hoo-yeah!”

 

 

i. coffee

Hide had known Kaneki for fifteen years, he had seen the way Kaneki changes into different people with different personalities and he was ready.

Kaneki once identified them as lapses in his memory, way before he understood what happened to him, but Hide had seen it as someone else living with Kaneki’s body. They were both young and naïve back then, nowadays Hide was always a constant in Kaneki’s lives so he would always fill in for Kaneki whenever he couldn’t remember the days he lived as someone else.

But as Kaneki had said, dating was another thing entirely.

They had been sitting in their favorite café, cramming like crazy for their midterm exams when Sasaki Haise woke up on top of Kaneki’s books with Hide’s fingers gently carding through his hair.

“Oh… oh my…” He was surprised to say at the least, and Hide was surprised too. “Sorry I didn’t wake you, but you looked so peaceful? Take your 15 man, should I get you Frappuccino?” Hide hadn’t noticed their differences, because Sasaki Haise was in so many ways just like Kaneki. “No, no, I would rather opt for Americano. Thank you, Nagachika-kun.” A smile.

An unfamiliar chiding smile, one given by a brother to a younger brother. Hide noticed the smile first and his name later. “Um… okay, uh-“

“Haise, Nagachika-kun, Sasaki Haise.”

“Right… Sasaki-san,” Sasaki Haise was older than he and Kaneki. He was wise, though a bit childlike in his world views, but he was hardworking and diligent. Hide remembered that it was this personality that won the heart of Kaneki’s current adoptive father, a CEO of a children’s toy company named Sunlit Garden. Sasaki Haise was also the personality that took the part-time job at said-adoptive father’s company whenever he was awake, which always coincided with the times Kaneki didn’t have classes in school.

Hide waved to the bartender and asked him to make their order, noticing the kind smile he was given by the older man in front of him. Hide was tempted to ask.

“Is there something on my face, Sasaki-san?”

Sasaki Haise shook his head and gave him a warm chuckle. He ruffled Hide’s hair gently and gave him a beaming smile. “Haise, Nagachika-kun, call me Haise. I must ask, are you dating Ken now?” Hide’s face colored. This was like… meeting a brother of Kaneki, right? All the other personalities know Kaneki, and Sasaki-san was older than them, so this was _technically_ meeting Kaneki’s brother, right?

“Well, yeah I am, but how do you…?”

“You don’t card through your best friend’s hair when they’re asleep, do you? You two are very adorable. I certainly must convey this to the others.” Sasaki-san _giggled_ and Hide knew that the next time he met another personality, they will _know_ about his relationship with Kaneki.

But until then, he would spend some time with Sasa— _Haise-san_ while he helped him with his studying. Hide liked Sasaki Haise, he was always very sweet, after all.

 

 

 

ii. white

Hide had known Kaneki for fifteen years, he had seen the way Kaneki changes into different people with different personalities and he was ready.

Or… so he thought.

Kaneki didn’t come to a fairly important pop quiz in world history and Hide _knew_ that it wasn’t because he hadn’t study. And Kaneki was such a punctual person it didn’t make any sense for him to be late, especially on an important day. So after the class ended, Hide asked one of his friend to sign him and Kaneki on the next class before pedaling his bike to Kaneki’s apartment.

The curtains were still drawn and Hide could see that it was dark inside. The TV wasn’t even on and he knew that something was wrong. Hide knocked the door once, twice, and when he couldn’t hear any response, he concluded that Kaneki wasn’t sick.

Because a sick Kaneki would groan a reply, even an annoyed one, so Hide took the spare key Kaneki always hid under his doormat and came inside.

“Kaneki?” He called, his voice resounding in the small apartment. Kaneki was not in his bedroom, nor was he in the toilet, so Hide stepped into the kitchen to see Kaneki huddling in the corner of the room with his blanket draped over him.

“Hey, what are you doing there?”

Kaneki was trembling. His knees tucked under his chin and he was hugging himself tight. He was mumbling the word ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again and Hide knew who he was facing.

His steps were slow and calm, trying his best not to startle Kaneki out of his stupor. Hide gently took the blanket over Kaneki and smile a calming smile. “Hey…”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Mother I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…” He refused to meet Hide’s eyes, so Hide crouched to see his level and gently pat his hair in circular motion. Hide would have pulled him into a hug, but the other’s back was pinned tightly onto the corner and he clearly refused to leave his current spot.

“Mother…?” Kaneki’s voice was small, like a broken child’s, and he was still trembling. Hide hummed a lullaby, the one his mother would use for him whenever he had a nightmare. “Heya little man, Shiro… right? It’s Hide.” Hide never lie to Shiro, never positioned himself as anything other than himself. Shiro had once thanked him for that, all those years ago when he was huddled crying underneath the slide they used as their secret base on elementary school. Hide kept his smile.

“Nagachika-san…” Shiro’s voice was a mere whisper as he fell to Hide’s embrace, curling himself to be as small as possible as he put his hears on Hide’s chest and Hide rocked them back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s alright, Shiro, I love you, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m home, you’re home.”

Hide still remembered that night when Kaneki (he hadn’t know that it was Shiro back then) cried in his arms, telling him that his mother had hated him and had beaten him up and he was the reason why his father died. It hadn’t match what Kaneki said earlier in the mornings, when he said that his mother loved him with all her being and she was the most wonderful woman he had ever known. Hide held him close back then, just as he did right now.

“He doesn’t remember,” Shiro had said with a sob back then, well past midnight when they were huddled together under the slide. “Ken doesn’t remember _anything_. _I_ do…” And Hide hugged him tighter.

Shiro fell asleep in his arms, looking as young as he did fourteen years ago, and Hide kissed him a goodnight.

 

 

 

iii. black

Hide had known Kaneki for fifteen years, he had seen the way Kaneki changes into different people with different personalities and he was ready.

Though, of course, ready could have a thousand meaning because Hide would probably never be ready for the way Kaneki’s eyes just suddenly turn cold when they were having a conversation. The other had been dozing off, clearly burnt out from writing a ten thousand word paper on Takatsuki Sen’s work and how it was influenced by various writers from romantic age, but then suddenly he was awake and he was _cold_.

Out of all personalities of Kaneki, Hide was always the most wary around this one. Yami (Hide had named him himself without asking if that was the way Kaneki refer to him) was probably as old as Haise-san, judging from the way he carried himself with such wisdom that Kaneki and Shiro lacked as the younger personalities. He watched with cold, expressionless, _lightless_ eyes as Hide smiled and gave him his coffee nonetheless, trying to pretend that he hadn’t notice the difference between Yami and Kaneki. But the other was sharper than that.

“You don’t need to pretend as if I don’t scare you, Nagachika.” His voice was sharp and cold, it wasn’t familiar like Kaneki’s, or warm like Haise-san, or a breathy whisper like Shiro’s. It was just… cold. Like he had given up in life. Like he was just _waiting_ for death to take him.

Hide once theorized that Yami was the side of Kaneki that had given up everything. His frustration, his fear, his trauma… while Shiro live in fear of all of that, Yami was… gone. He didn’t care anymore and thus he was _dead_.

“Those are beautiful words you promised Ken,” he said as he sipped his coffee. “You were so sincere that I almost believe you. And in case you need to hear it too, Nagachika…” Yami pulled him by his collar and kissed him. He tasted like coffee, and yet he lacked the _warmth_ Kaneki always had whenever they kiss each other in their affectionate moments. Yami was cold, colder than Hide would probably be ever ready for, and it was _terrifying_. “I love you too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an unfinished business with a certain father of mine.”

Hide was too shocked to react, so he plopped down on his seat as he watched Yami left with Kaneki’s body. He knew that Yami hated their current adoptive father for some reason, but he didn’t know what. But then before Yami could leave the café, he had passed out on the floor, leaving a very confused Kaneki in his wake.

Hide rushed to his side immediately, smiling as he hugged _his_ Kaneki with trembling hands. Hide had known Kaneki for fifteen years, he had seen the way Kaneki changes into different people with different personalities and he was ready. Even when Yami scared him, even when Shiro made him sad, even when Haise-san made him feel warm inside.

Hide loved Kaneki Ken and everything that he was. He just needed to learn how to love everyone else, too.

 


End file.
